Okay so we can all remember what our friends would tell us when we first became interested in the opposite sex, they would advise us in different ways to get the other person you liked to like you. Can you remember what advise you got in order to get your crush to like you in middle school? Well we humans tend to have the tendency to make things much more confusing and difficult than they should be, and the main reason for this is that many of us are scared to death of the truth, rejection or even worse that the other person feels the same way ( We know what to do when we get sad, but we don't know how to appreciate happiness...that is another blog completely). So to get back on to topic as children we would hit or make fun of the person we liked. As we grew up we would play games with a group of friends such as SPIN THE BOTTLE or SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN hoping that we are "forced" to kiss the person we like so if they rejected you, you could say "I was just playing the game, I didn't really want to kiss you".
You think that as we grew up to become teenagers and adults we grow out of this habit to play games with the person we want to be with. But sadly but truly that is not the case. Instead we play more complex and mind- F&*(*%& games...which certain women and men play very well but rarely get anywhere. Some of the games or the evolved version of naming them, these unwritten "RULES" of dating become the 10 commandments of getting someone you like to notice you. Lets name a few that are very common but usually end to being single.
1. Be hard to get
2. Do not call until 3 days after they have given you their number
3. Make that person jealous
4. Do not tell them exactly what you are feeling
5. Do not text, BBM. facebook message, call until a couple of days after your first date.
6. Act as if you do not care
7. Flirt with their friends
These are just a couple of "RULES" that I can think up on the top of my head; rules I use to do all the time when I was single. I us to be part of the population that thought that if I followed these rules I will end up with the guy of my dreams..well that wasn't the case at all. I notices that by playing these games I was being childish, immature and to scared to go after something that may be worth it, even though it was risky. It never popped into my head that the guys that I was dating where over all these "childish games" and instead of getting more interested in me they were getting tired and thought I was not interested at all in them (when in reality I was). It wasn't until I dated an older guy ( 10+ my age) that I noticed that playing games was completely stupid. He was direct and upfront, called when he wanted to hear my voice, invited me out when he wanted to see me and told me how he felt when he felt it. There was no guessing no assuming..it was so refreshing that from that day on I noticed that playing games just made things frustrating and complicated. Dating should never be frustrating or complicated.
Well things didn't work out with that guy due to many reasons that (WALLAH) were spoken about and we decided to be friends. After that experience I decided to be honest, direct and upfront with every guy I would date in the future. If the guy I dated would play games, I would just let him be and move on. Well after two years of being single, I met the guy that played no games at all and that was the biggest turn on I ever had. It was so simple and easy and it felt good to say things and do things when you felt the need to. We dated for a month before we became official and that surprised me because I would date a guy for months playing "games" and never be close to official. Once I stop playing games and found someone that was tired of games...we clicked and starting dating.
Now I see all my friends that play games and they are still SINGLE and wonder why, they are great people but seem not to find anyone they click with. While my friends that are in long term relationship got tired of these games and starting being honest with themselves and others and are happy that they risked their ego and pride in order to find a fulfilling relationship. As children we get tired of playing the same game over and over again so we decide to play another game. The same goes with us, we play the same game over and over again with the same person that we are bound to get bored and look elsewhere for entertainment. When we take a risk and be honest, everyday is a new game, the game of getting to know the real person your dating. The daily surprises of love, romance, laughter and unexpected events. How can we get bored of a game that we have no clue how it ends, but we can easily get bored of a game that we see everyone else playing and know that it ends all the same.
Take a risk and call the person that your thinking about, thank that person after a great date with a sweet text, ask to see the person you have been yearning to see all day...TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL. Throw away that old idea of "rules" because there are no rules when it comes to relationships, nor a blueprint to how they start or end. Each relationship is unique and the only way to start one is to be honest with yourself and others and do what your gut tells you to do. Hey they may surprise you and tell you that they have been wanting to do or feel the same thing...then the real and unexpected game of life and love begins.